"Are you family?" I get asked this question a decent amount when I'm out with my sister (or more often my cousin Laura) but not in the context I just learned existed. According to a friend (and there verified on the 'world wide web') asking if someone is "family" can be a code phrase to ask if the person is a lesbian. At happy hour on Thursday I was not the only one at the table of 6 who didn't know this was a loaded question. For someone who is constantly being joked around with about being a lesbian (it's a pretty natural transition when you have a name like 'Lizzie' to closely link it to 'Lezzie' or 'Lizbian') I was appalled that I didn't know this not-really-underground gay community reference. As I started thinking about this the more I began wondering how it was possible that I was so oblivious to this question. I actually started feeling a slightly embarrassed that the people I was sipping on sangria with seemed to be so savvy and in-the-know yet I was so clearly uninformed. Then I thought, maybe Grand Rapids isn't quite "there." Maybe this is a question people ask in big cities. New York. LA. Maybe hasn't quite hit the midwest yet?? Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just out of it. But if it IS something that everyone knows (except me) than how come the last time I got hit on by a girl there was none of this code-word-to-give-me-a-heads-up-by-asking-if-i'm-gay pleasantries. All I got was "Do you have a boyfriend?" When I responded "not exactly" this chick (apparently) read that as:"lesbian" and then pseudo-aggressively reached in, grabbed my face and planted one on me. In that situation, I would have appreciated the opportunity to state my preference for a Y chromosome. That's what I get for going to Mojo's dressed as an Octopus (it was Halloween, c'mon)...
I am glad that I am finally in the know about this little secret but it does make my wonder if when my cousin and I hold hands during savasana in our yoga class and people laugh and say "oh, there just family" they don't really mean that we're cousins... Oh well!! - Lizzie